What Not to Say to a Guardian ad Litem in Child Custody Cases

A child custody case can be a complex and emotional journey for parents. One of the key players in this process is the Guardian ad Litem (GAL), a court-appointed individual responsible for representing the best interests of the child. Due to the influence of the GAL on the outcome of the case, knowing how to communicate effectively with a GAL is vital. Our goal is to guide you through common communication mistakes to avoid, the importance of demonstrating respect and cooperation, and how to navigate sensitive topics with a GAL. Your communication skills are key, along with how you conduct yourself towards the Guardian ad LItem. What not to say to the Guardian ad Litem will help you understand what’s important for the Guardian ad Litem to hear, and both are important for your interactions with this influential advocate appointed by the Court to protect the minor child.

Quick Answers

• Maintain a professional tone and avoid being overly emotional or aggressive when communicating with a GAL.
• Differentiate between relevant and irrelevant information, be honest about the child’s welfare, furnish necessary documents/records, demonstrate respect and cooperation.
• Prepare for home visits by creating a safe environment.
• Engage in constructive conversations focused on the child’s best interests.

Avoiding Common Mistakes in Communication with a Guardian ad Litem

A GAL plays a significant part in determining the child’s best interests in disputed child custody cases. Building a favorable relationship with the GAL is beneficial, as their written report can considerably influence the case’s outcome and the judge’s decision. To foster a productive relationship, there are several common communication mistakes that should be avoided.

Being Overly Emotional or Aggressive

Maintaining a calm demeanor while interacting with a GAL is beneficial, as showing intense emotions or hostility may negatively impact your case. Aggressive behavior can lead to a hostile and confrontational atmosphere, impeding open and honest dialogue, and making it challenging for the GAL to accurately collect information and evaluate the child’s best interests.

To maintain emotional control, strategies such as:

• Honing communication skills
• Refraining from discussing contentious matters in the presence of children
• Utilizing techniques to address trauma-related topics
• Seeking emotional support from a confidant

can be implemented. Staying calm shows mental readiness and can result in a more productive dialogue with the GAL.

Sharing Irrelevant Information

When communicating with a GAL, it’s necessary to stay focused on providing pertinent information concerning the child’s best interests. Avoid discussing irrelevant topics, asking for personal information of the GAL for the Child, bringing up information unrelated to the issue, and engaging in biased conversations. Providing irrelevant information to a GAL may lead to distracting them from relevant information and issues, wasting time and resources, and potentially undermining your credibility and suitability as a parent or caregiver.

Differentiating between relevant and irrelevant information for a custody case can be crucial in navigating the custody dispute itself and achieving your desired custody outcome. This can be aided by:

• Consulting with an attorney
• Establishing a chain of custody or authenticity of evidence
• Ensuring the evidence supports your claims
• Remembering that evidence must be deemed ‘relevant’ for the court to admit it.

Withholding Crucial Details

Withholding important information from a GAL in child custody cases is not advised, as it could negatively affect the determination of the best custody arrangement for the child. Furnish the GAL with all pertinent information concerning:

• the child’s welfare
• habitat/ living situation
• medical information
• special needs
• activities
• education
• associations
• any other elements that may influence the child’s best interests.

Honesty is paramount when dealing with a GAL, and excuses should be avoided. You should also try not to fixate or focus too much on negative aspects of your ex. Your attorney can guide you in effectively conveying your relationship with the children and about them.

Demonstrating Respect and Cooperation

Cooperation and respect are necessary when working with a GAL, as all interactions with them form part of their investigation and may be considered when making their final custody recommendation. Examples of cooperation with a GAL include:

• Following instructions
• Providing honest answers to questions
• Furnishing necessary documents and records
• Displaying openness and transparency regarding the child’s welfare
• Exhibiting a readiness to act in the child’s best interests

Responding Promptly and Appropriately

Prompt and appropriate responses to the GAL’s inquiries are important, as they rely on accurate and timely information to make recommendations to the court. It also shows how seriously you take the GAL and the court process in general. When responding to a GAL, it is necessary to:

• Prioritize the requests of the GAL
• Work cooperatively with them
• Demonstrate respect and professionalism
• Be aware of their role as not being your legal counsel
• Furnish complete contact details for any witnesses you would like them to speak with.

Effective communication with a GAL includes not meandering or rambling but using clear and concise language when discussing complex matters, and actively listening to their concerns with an open mind to their input.

Respecting Boundaries and Privacy

Respecting the GAL’s boundaries and privacy is important, as their primary focus is the child’s best interests and they carry a lot of weight in terms of the direction of the case. Parents should abstain from inquiring about the specifics of their interactions with the child and be aware that the GAL’s client is the child, not the parents. Breaching professional boundaries with a GAL may lead to a loss of trust and credibility, which could have an adverse effect on the results of the child custody case.

Navigating Sensitive Topics with a Guardian ad Litem

Approaching sensitive topics with a GAL can be difficult but may be necessary for effective communication and to give the GAL a good understanding of the facts.

You should thoughtfully consider how to address parental conflicts and past mistakes or challenges with a GAL, ensuring that a constructive and informative dialogue occurs.

Discussing Parental Conflict

When discussing parental conflicts with a GAL, it’s important to:

• Provide factual information about the conflict
• Concentrate on the facts of the conflict and the specific impact of the conflict on the child’s well-being
• Refrain from making personal attacks or derogatory comments about the other parent
• Be candid about your concerns and observations

Be open to listening to the GAL’s perspective and collaborating on finding solutions. If you have concerns or disagreements, express them cautiously, courteously, and respectfully, and consult with an attorney if necessary.

Addressing Past Mistakes and Challenges

Addressing past mistakes and challenges with a GAL is important for exhibiting personal growth, self-awareness, and dedication to the child’s well-being. Acknowledge the past mistakes you have made and explain the steps taken to rectify the situation.

Highlighting the lessons learned from the mistakes of the past and showing that you are now better prepared to handle similar issues is of utmost importance.

Preparing for Home Visits and Interviews

GAL home visits and interviews are significant aspects of the guardian ad litem’s investigation in the contested child custody case process. Preparation for these interactions, including discussions with daycare providers and school personnel, can guarantee a positive and productive experience for both you and the GAL.

Try creating a safe and inviting environment by engaging in constructive conversations with the GAL. This will demonstrate your maturity as a parent.

Creating a Safe and Welcoming Environment

When a GAL conducts a home visit, they are expected to conduct an assessment by visiting the child’s residence, which could be the parent’s home, interviewing the other occupants, and evaluating the living environment. Creating a welcoming atmosphere during a GAL visit may also reflect a comfortable and secure home environment for the child, positive interactions between the child and their surroundings, the consideration of the child’s wishes and preferences, and the presence of supportive and caring adults in the child’s life.

Engaging in Constructive Conversations

A constructive conversation with a GAL involves maintaining a polite and respectful demeanor, being honest and communicative during meetings, and keeping the child’s best interests in mind. To maintain a tranquil and composed demeanor in interactions with a GAL, cooperate in providing the required information about your child and family, be courteous and tranquil, and refrain from negative behaviors such as rolling your eyes, murmuring under your breath, or engaging in confrontational behavior. When it comes to preparing your child for the GAL interview, be careful not to say too much. You can explain that your child knows that there are different people that are “helpers” in the child’s life, such as teachers, doctors, police officers, etc. You can explain the various “helpers” the child has and you might tell your child, “You are going to meet another “helper” that is here to make sure you are happy and healthy and safe.”

The ideal is the child knows there is no right or wrong answer to any quesitons asked of the child, so long as the child just tells the truth. Encourage sincerity by reminding your child to be honest with the guardian ad litem and reassure them that the GAL is there to help.

Summary

Navigating the complexities of working with a GAL in child custody cases can be beyond challenging for self-represented people. By avoiding common communication mistakes, demonstrating respect and cooperation, addressing sensitive topics in the appropriate manner, and preparing for home visits and interviews, you can foster a positive and productive relationship with a GAL to promote the best possible outcome for your child’s custody arrangement. Remember, the GAL’s primary focus is the child’s best interests, and by working together and helping the GAL understand what is really going on, you can help achieve a custody arrangement that truly benefits your child.

Frequently Asked Questions

What should I say to the guardian ad litem?

Explain the facts in detail rather than giving your opinion. Give the GAL the play-by-play of incidents rather than your summaries, or worse, your conclusions. Understand the GAL is here to learn about our relationship and what you would like for parenting time and custody. Be honest with facts when discussing the other parent’s abilities and the other parent’s issues with the GAL. However, you do not want to come off like a know it all or like you are only there to complain about the other parent, either. Find a balance.

What is the GAL process in Illinois?

In Illinois, the GAL process requires a guardian ad litem to meet with influential parties, investigate the facts of the case, possibly interview the child and make a home visits, use alternative forms of dispute resolution that may exist in order to encourage an agreement, and undertake other obligations in the interest of the minor child.

What is the primary focus of a Guardian ad Litem in child custody cases?

The primary focus of a Guardian ad Litem in child custody cases is to advocate for the best interests of the child, offering an independent perspective on the case based on the factors the Court is required by statute to consider in determining the best interests of the minor child. The Guardian ad Litem (“GAL”) is given investigative powers and the role of inquiring with the people currently parenting the minor child and propose a solutions, such as a Joint Parenting Plan.

How can I avoid common communication mistakes when interacting with a GAL?

Follow instructions. Ask quesitons to make sure all your expectations are clear, try to continually hold a pen and notebook during every conversation so that you can take notes during and after each conversation with the GAL, be professional and clear in your communication, focus on factual events and not conclusions and you should even avoid making conclusory statements. Let the GAL form their own opinions and conclusions. Avoid being emotional or aggressive, and share with the GAL all the relevant information.